Saturday, October 31, 2015

Pulled in Two Directions

In high school, I was a part of the school spirit organization. Normally, I was assigned menial tasks like working stands at events, hanging decorations and posters, or painting faces, but once during my sophomore year, I was assigned under junior Aoka for the annual designing of a club shirt. In the interests of having two representatives from every grade level (Aoka included), there were six other students, but the club supervisor, Hana, wanted a clear weight in favor of senior members. Aoka was only a junior, but she had been with the organization since her enrollment. Nevertheless, one of the senior representatives, Ryou, a two-year member, was displeased by the decision, feeling that he was better qualified.

From the onset, Ryou tried to steer the team. Ryou repeatedly moved to block Aoka by cutting her off mid-sentence or ridiculing her ideas. When her proposals were moved onto the table, he would rally for vetoes and pressure the reluctant underclassmen to follow his lead. He would then attempt to rouse the other members (especially the other senior, Kaori) for submissions whenever he wasn't pushing his own designs onto the table.

Aoka was initially patient, perhaps oblivious, to Ryou's opposition. She eventually came to realize his hostility after multiple proposals fell flat. She then ousted Ryou angrily from his influential podium, verbally reprimanding his subversive behavior, and forced the caucus to accept a general theme for the shirt design. Ryou fumed and sulked for the remainder of the meeting, and the next.

After the confrontation, Aoka was certain that the fault lay with Ryou for being disrespectful, uncooperative, and manipulative. Ryou, on the other hand, felt that his interests as a senior were not being properly represented, and to that end, thought Aoka to be uncooperative and insensitive he was certain that everyone but Aoka acknowledged his rights, as a senior, to ultimate control over the design. Other members confided in me that they were indifferent to who wrests control, but were inclined to oppose Ryou as the instigator, to which I agreed. Kaori herself showed discomfort with how upfront and aggressive Ryou was, and probably would prefer deferring to Aoka as the chosen leader.

For the large part, the convening members chose to tiptoe around the feud. Before the confrontation, most members complied to Ryou's forceful demands, or found an excuse to avoid it. Afterwards, most of us chose to ignore Ryou, as he remained quiet and began playing truant. Aoka did not seek further conflicts, and carried business on normally.

Ultimately, the conflict came to a breaking point. As we approached making a decision between several drafts, the club supervisor, Hana, came to inform us that Ryou had asked to transfer him to a different task, due to Aoka being "unbearably uncooperative and indecisive." Trusting Aoka more, she came to inquire what had happened. When she was met with avoided glances and Aoka's calm explanation that Ryou was at fault, Hana let the topic drop, and concluded that we were too far along to reassign another senior representative, and briefly reminded us of the deadline before leaving.

In hindsight, there was something everyone could have done to prevent the fallout. Ryou could have chosen to be more communicate in a clear and civil manner, rather than assume his righteousness and everyone else's allegiance. For her part, Aoka could have been more accommodating of Ryou's wants. Instead of letting her frustration swell up and burst, she could have attempted to meet Ryou halfway on issues. For the rest of us, our submissive attitude played a large part into giving Ryou the momentum to corner Aoka, which inevitably led to her retaliation. If we had been a little more firm and resistant to Ryou's pressure, he might not have made the assumptions he did and potentially cause him to refocus his attention on a more generalized, diplomatic approach.

2 comments:

  1. The part of the story that I wish you had elaborated on more was the procedure by which the group's leader was chosen. Was there a vote on that? If so, and if Aoka was elected by a fair process, on what basis did Ryou base his complaint? The other related issue you might have discussed is how the group leadership was determined in other years. How unusual was it to have a junior as the leader of the group?

    One last thing you might have mentioned as to cause is whether there was some gender bias at root here, the boy think he is naturally better than the girl on the basis of gender. Maybe that didn't matter, but it did occur to me reading this.

    Once people get bent out of shape by a perceived injustice, they do tend to act in a very childish way and pout rather than compromise. At some point the situation does become impossible and separation of one of the parties may be the best thing at the point.

    Whether the outcome was inevitable or not ahead of time is harder to determine. You talked about compromise as the possible solution. I can't judge in this case but sometimes compromise works while other times it is demoralizing because it lessens the quality of what is produced and one shouldn't cave in when that lessening of quality can be anticipated ahead of time. Do you have other reasons to believe that compromise up front would have been helpful? If so, you might have articulated those reasons.

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  2. Aoka was informally recognized as a leader within the club. Her peers gravitated towards her enthusiasm and followed her lead, and with three years of service, she easily earned the trust of the club advisers. Becoming one of Hana's favorites, her position as a task leader was more or less solidified. This was similar to how student leaders emerged in my track and field team. Junior leaders were not strange. By the time they become juniors, serious students typically have the experience, merit, and maturity. Sophomore leaders may be rare, but not junior.

    That said, there was no democratic process. As with many "projects" done in the club, seniors with favorable and long-lasting relations with the teachers were simply expected to organize their peers. Aoka was selected over the other student leaders because she had taken a screen printing class. The rest of us were selected due to explicit interest, artistic experience, or availability.

    I think Ryou mostly saw Hana playing favorites and chose to ignore the reasons why Aoka became a favored leader. I intentionally did not mention the possibility that Ryou was upset at being inferior to a girl. While possible, I felt that it slanted the story even more unfairly against Ryou, as it wasn't something I could confirm, and even if it were true, it likely occurred at an unconscious level. I feel that Ryou himself would be perplexed at such a question. I personally felt that the root was the perceived injustice, that he felt the position was owed to him. As someone who would be graduating soon, assigning Aoka as the leader was an act of betrayal.

    I thought solely of compromise because I prefer avoiding conflicts. Not that this sentiment is particularly strange, but that is how it was. So when I looked back at the situation, I was fixated on what could have been changed to avoid needless drama. But it's very possible that compromise could have fallen through anyway and conflict was inevitable. Compromise probably would have reduced the overall quality of the shirt design. If we were forced to yield partially to Ryou, he likely would have added something that was only meaningful to the seniors. Maybe I was being too optimistic when I hoped that Ryou could be cornered by rational discussion, and ultimately be defeated (discussing compromise potentially leading Ryou to give up quietly).

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